That’s My Boy

The Lord saw fit to bless our home with three children of the masculine persuasion.
By our third son, I sat up and took notice that I had more than a few things to learn. Growing up with only one sister left me with not much knowledge of these man-types. Don't get me wrong, I've always been crazy about males, but only if they were wrapped around my little finger. And truth be told, for years I held the secret (or not-so-secret at times) belief that women and girls were, uh, better than men and boys. Yep, its true. Thought we were smarter, and thought we were better because of our knack of multi-tasking, having more apparent depth of emotion, and not struggling as much as men with sexual sins.
Funny how circumstances often bring us to paradigm-shifts. The more I researched boys — the way they learn, the way they play, the way they interact, the way they fight, they way they learn to follow (or don't learn to follow) God — the more I fell in love with the way they are. I like to think that I have graduated to the higher status in life of Boy Advocate.
Boys are GREAT! Men are GREAT!
And boys are Future Men.
It is amazing to me that God had the idea of making men and women so different from one another, and now I am mature enough to thank Him for this (instead of asking him why men weren't more like women).
What a joy it is to have sons. Boys are simple and forthright. Boys hardly ever hold grudges. If they are mad at a brother or friend — even if the disagreement escalates to a physical scuffle, once the fight is done, its done. We don't have to try to hard to psycho-analyze a boy — he puts it all right out there for us. Being competitve is not a sin, and it is possible to teach a boy how to win and lose gracefully. Boys learn by seeing that they can use their knowledge to make a difference in the world — receiving little "good job" smiley-face stickers doesn't cut it for motivating boys. They need to feel the strength and profundity of acquired knowledge. Boys grow up to be fathers, the single most important person in each of our childhoods (whether your father was present or absent, godly or unkind, his importance is not diminished — though the blessings may have been). Boys grow up to be leaders — of their families, churches, businesses, and societies. A focused man (one that isn't good at multi-tasking, remember?) has the strength and fortitude to make a huge dent in our society. Imagine that focused man "seeking first the Kingdom of God." What a difference he can make, and what an adventure he can enjoy while doing it!
And boys and mothers, oh my. I don't think I will ever tire of having several males who pick flowers for me and play with my hair and tell me I'm beautiful. This love and affection alone makes any pee on the toilet seat worth it.
I am in Boy Heaven.

Some great books on boys:
Future Men by Douglas Wilson
Raising A Modern-Day Knight
King Me by Steve Farrar
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson

Some good books about and/or for men:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura
Created to Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl
Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Family Man, Family Leader by Phillip Lancaster
A Father's Stew by Stephen Beck
Point Man by Steve Farrar
No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin (highly recommended by a friend, we haven't read this yet)

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8 thoughts on “That’s My Boy

  1. It is my goal here to post a comment that will get everybody in an uproar and post like… 40 comments…. carrying on a long-winded controversial argument that could be settled in person in probably less than 30 minutes.

    So um… here goes:

    Boys are jerks.

    sometimes.

  2. See, there you go, trying to make Debbie and other girls psychoanalyze you when she clearly just said that you were SIMPLE and PLAIN. Why do you always have to be the exception to the rule, Miroslav? Are you one of those hermaphrodite things?

    GIRLS ARE JERKS, TOO. BUT YOU WON’T KNOW IT UNTIL WE’VE STOLEN YOUR BOYFRIEND AND SPREAD RUMORS AND HAVE EVERYONE AT YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CALLING YOU SYPH-FACE.

    That’s why I always hung out with guys in Highschool. Girls are catty and bitchy and underhanded. Sure guys might be trying to get into your pants, but it’s pretty OBVIOUS WHEN THEY’RE DOING IT.

    Debbie, isn’t your brother in law silly? Doesn’t it just make you want to ruffle his hair? AND CALL HIM A SEXIST JERK?

  3. Thanks for the positive post about my gender.

    I’ve read three of your good books on men, and was overwhelmed with emotion (yes a male characteristic), when I realized that I often feel misunderstood in my profession (dominated by females), and sometimes in my own family (I have two daughter, a wife, and two female cats).

    The “church” has done a real misdeed to men . . . add to your reading list “No More Christian Nice Guy” by Paul Coughlin.

  4. Debbie,
    That’s because you have done some pretty outstanding things to get your boys to deal with themselves in a humble fashion. I seem to remember you getting your oldest to giggle whenever you changed his diaper, and I remember you getting your youngest to giggle on demand. What you did to help your middle child to deal with his own stubborness is wonderful to watch!
    But what do I know? I always tell my class on the first day of school that girls are wonderful and boys are just jerks.
    Mr. D

  5. Boys are jerks sometimes and girls are jerks sometimes too. That pretty much sums it up for me.
    And that’s one more post…yay!

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